Living With AuDHD: My Honest Experience

Living with AuDHD means experiencing the world in ways that don’t always fit neatly into expectations. Some days feel overwhelming, others surprisingly clear, and many fall somewhere in between. In this post, I want to talk honestly about living with AuDHD. I will discuss the challenges, highlight the strengths, and share the everyday realities that shape how I move through life.

What Is AuDHD?

AuDHD is a term used to describe living with both autism and ADHD at the same time. It isn’t an official diagnosis on its own. Instead, many people use it as a shorthand to talk about the overlap of these two neurotypes. This shorthand helps explain how they interact in everyday life.

For many AuDHD people, traits from autism and ADHD don’t simply cancel each other out. They coexist and amplify each other. Sometimes, they even pull in opposite directions. This can look like craving routine while also struggling to maintain it. It can mean needing structure but resisting rigidity. You might feel deeply focused one moment and completely overwhelmed the next.

Living with AuDHD often means experiencing the world more intensely. Sensory input, emotions, energy levels, and executive functioning can all fluctuate in ways that are hard to predict or explain. What feels manageable one day might feel exhausting the next, even when nothing obvious has changed.

AuDHD also comes with strengths. Many AuDHD people are creative, deeply empathetic, intuitive, detail-oriented, and capable of intense focus on things they care about. At the same time, navigating a world built for neurotypical expectations can be tiring and frustrating.

Everyone’s experience of AuDHD is different. There’s no single “right” way it looks. Instead, there is a wide range of lived experiences. These are shaped by personality, environment, support, and self-understanding.

Getting Diagnosed

Getting diagnosed was not something I came to on my own at first. My mother encouraged me to seek an autism evaluation. She noticed similarities between me and my brother. He is also autistic and has an intellectual disability. Growing up alongside him gave her a unique perspective. Over time, she began to recognize familiar patterns in how I experienced the world. My struggles looked different on the surface.

For a long time, I didn’t fully realize that the things I found difficult had a name or an explanation. I had learned to push through, mask, and adapt in ways that felt normal to me. It wasn’t until much later that I began to understand something important. My experiences weren’t simply personal shortcomings. They were part of how my brain works.

I was formally diagnosed with autism in December 2022, when I was 28 years old. Receiving that diagnosis was emotional and validating all at once. It gave me language for things I had struggled to explain for years. It helped me reframe many past experiences with more compassion.

Later, in June 2024, at 29, I was also diagnosed with ADHD. That diagnosis added another layer of clarity. It helped me understand my fluctuating energy levels. I gained insight into my attention and executive functioning in a way I hadn’t been able to before. These diagnoses provided clarity. They helped me understand the conflict I often feel between needing structure and struggling to maintain it.

Being late-diagnosed has come with a mix of relief, grief, and self-discovery. Sometimes I wish I had known sooner. However, having this understanding now allows me to be gentler with myself. I can start building a life that better supports who I actually am.

The Levels of Autism

Autism is sometimes described using support levels: Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3. These levels are not a measure of someone’s intelligence, value, or potential. They are simply a way clinicians describe how much support a person needs in their daily life. This is particularly around communication, sensory processing, and functioning in a neurotypical world.

• Level 1 generally refers to people who need some support, often in social communication or managing daily demands.
• Level 2 refers to people who need substantial support.
• Level 3 refers to people who need very substantial support.

It’s important to note that these levels are not fixed personality types. They don’t capture the full complexity of a person. Needs can fluctuate based on the environment, stress, health, and life circumstances. Many autistic people find that a single number can’t fully describe their experience.

I was diagnosed with Level 2 autism. I need a significant amount of support to function and feel well in everyday life. This can show up in areas like sensory overload, communication, emotional regulation, energy levels, and difficulty coping with unexpected changes. Although I may appear capable or “fine” on the surface at times, maintaining that image can be exhausting. Often, it comes at a cost.

Being Level 2 doesn’t mean I’m incapable. It means that the world often demands more from me than my nervous system can comfortably handle without support. Understanding this has helped me let go of unrealistic expectations and be more honest about my limits and needs.

Autism isn’t a linear scale from “mild” to “severe.” It’s a wide spectrum of experiences. Every autistic person, regardless of level, deserves understanding. They also deserve accommodations and respect.

The Three Types of ADHD

ADHD is commonly grouped into three presentation types, based on which traits are most prominent. These types aren’t rigid boxes. Many people find that their symptoms shift over time. Symptoms may also show up differently depending on stress, environment, and support.

Inattentive Type

This type is often associated with difficulties around focus, attention, and organization. People with inattentive ADHD may struggle with staying on task. They may have difficulty following through on plans. Remembering details can be challenging for them. They may also face challenges in managing time and responsibilities. It’s sometimes less visible from the outside, which can lead to it being misunderstood or overlooked.

Hyperactive-Impulsive Type

This type is more commonly associated with restlessness, impulsivity, and difficulty staying still. It can look like constant movement, talking excessively, interrupting others, or acting on impulses without much pause. While this is the presentation many people think of first when they hear “ADHD,” it’s actually less common in adults.

Combined Type

Combined type ADHD includes traits from both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive presentations. This means experiencing challenges with focus and organization alongside restlessness, impulsivity, or internal hyperactivity. It can feel like your brain is constantly switching between racing thoughts and mental exhaustion.

I was diagnosed with combined type ADHD. This diagnosis helped explain why I experience both difficulty focusing and managing tasks. It also clarified my periods of restlessness or mental overwhelm. Having traits from both sides can feel especially contradictory. Wanting structure but struggling to maintain it. Needing stimulation but becoming overstimulated quickly.

Like autism, ADHD doesn’t look the same for everyone. There’s no single way to experience it, and no presentation is more or less valid than another. Understanding the type you have can be helpful. It’s not a label to limit you but a tool for better self-understanding and support.

Getting Diagnosed & Admitting I Was Struggling

Getting diagnosed with both autism and ADHD didn’t happen all at once, and it didn’t come easily. A big part of that process was admitting to myself that I was struggling. Then, I admitted it to others. I was struggling more than I wanted to believe. For a long time, I told myself that if I just tried harder, things would eventually feel manageable. I believed I could push through. I thought that staying quieter about my needs would help.

Admitting I needed help felt like failure at first. For years, I masked my struggles. I adapted and convinced myself that my difficulties were personal flaws. They were not signs that I needed support. Saying out loud that I was struggling was incredibly hard. It meant letting go of the version of myself I thought I should be.

Receiving diagnoses for both autism and ADHD gave me language for experiences I had been carrying alone for years. It didn’t magically make life easier. However, it helped me understand why certain things felt so overwhelming. I also realized why “normal” expectations often felt impossible to meet. It also forced me to confront the reality that I couldn’t keep surviving by sheer effort alone.

Learning to admit that I’m struggling has been an ongoing process. Some days I still minimize my needs or feel guilty for asking for accommodations. But slowly, I’ve learned that acknowledging my limits isn’t giving up. It’s the first step toward caring for myself in a way that’s sustainable.

Getting diagnosed wasn’t about putting myself in a box. It was about finally allowing myself to stop pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. I gave myself permission to seek support. I searched for understanding and compassion from others, and from myself.

Final Thoughts

Living with AuDHD has been a journey of learning, unlearning, and slowly meeting myself with more honesty and compassion. Getting diagnosed didn’t change who I am. It gave me language for experiences I had spent years trying to explain. It also helped me push through these experiences and helped me understand my limits. I recognized my needs. I began letting go of expectations that were never built with people like me in mind.

This post isn’t meant to speak for everyone with autism or ADHD. It’s simply my own experience. I share it in the hope that it offers understanding, validation, or even just a sense of recognition. If you’re navigating similar questions or struggles, I hope you know you’re not alone. Remember that needing support is not a failure.

Your Turn

If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear from you. Do you have autism, ADHD, or both? Or do you know someone who does — a family member, partner, friend, or loved one? What has your experience been like, or what have you learned along the way?

You’re also welcome to simply read and sit with this post if commenting feels like too much. However you engage, thank you for being here and for taking the time to listen. 💛

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